Yes, I said ‘most common’. These are the reasons I have heard most often in the last few weeks.  And while the majority of you ARE meditating and LOVING it, the rest of you have been telling the same-old common reasons…. And if you want to be common, and even ‘most common’, then that’s your choice. But I know you know you are more than that. You are actually a very interesting and at times, exceptional person. (Perhaps a little strange, but who’s judging...)

10) My environment isn’t conducive to meditation.

9) I keep falling asleep when I meditate.

8) I can’t quiet the voices in my head.

7) Things come up in meditation that I just don’t want to think about.

6) I have trouble relaxing, I’m too restless.

5) I don’t know anyone else who meditates.

4) I missed a few days of meditation and so I just gave up.

3) I feel like I’m not getting anywhere with this.

2) I’m not motivated enough.

1) I keep forgetting to do it.

Please, don’t be common. Prioritize yourself and you’ll feel valued. 

If you ask me why you should practice meditating and I replied, ‘because it’s good for you’, would you practice? Of course not. That form of amateur persuasion doesn’t even work on children and vegetables.

Instead, consider what happens in other areas of your life if you practice meditation. 

Practicing a deeper connection and engagement with your heart, your spirit and your right side of the brain, positively affects your focus at work. Instead of wasting time or simply putting out fires all day, a solid meditation practice prepares you to apply a steady mental focus on the important priorities at work.  

Instead of the same-old-same-old relationship with your partner and your child, practicing a deeper connection and engagement through meditation serves to strengthen the core of your relationship with your loved ones. You’re able to tune into them, with heightened intuition and profound care, offering them your full attention.

Deep engagement embraces your mind, body and emotions. You can see and feel when someone is deeply engaged with you. They are connected, tuned in and often brightly turned on.

Your meditation practice literally practices and develops your deep engagement abilities. It’s as though it’s a rehearsal for life. What you can do in meditation, you can take out to the rest of your life. And as the rest of your world grows richer, more alive and real, your practice refines and expands in layers of complexities that multiply into a more liberated fullness in your external life.

The creative practice becomes something more than a practice over time. It becomes a force, a power, and a purpose. And in the act of awakening and developing social, emotional and intuitive intelligence, it becomes the non-judgmental art of paying attention with the heart.

I talk so much about practice when I speak or write about meditation, because it’s such an important part of the process. 

Meditation is not a one-off. It’s a practice. And practice is really preparation. Without practice, you would be unprepared to meet the challenges of your life. With practice, you create strength, confidence and grace.

We are complex beings. And life is endlessly intricate. Without practice -  internal rehearsal - we are ill equipped to deal with life at the best of times.

And now the game is changing. We are all feeling it. Knowing it. 

So now, more than ever, we need an internal connection and a daily practice of deep engagement. 

We want to walk the talk, feel the authenticity in every step, and be present with every moment. That requires a certain level of competence. And if we have never walked that path, our competence needs to be created from the inside out. Period. 

I know you’ve heard it before: take a deep breath, relax, and watch the tension melt from your muscles.  You know it’s good for you, but I love to know even more about it.

Recently, researchers at Harvard Medical School discovered that deep relaxation practices actually change the body on a genetic level. They revealed that far more “disease-fighting genes” were active in the practitioners.

“Disease-fighting genes”?  Exactly. It seems genes that protect us were switched on, like a powerful medical drug, but without the side effects. It shows just how responsive genes are to behaviour, mood and environment.

The Harvard researchers asked the control group to start practicing relaxation methods every day, and after two months, their bodies began to change. The genes that help fight inflammation, kill diseased cells and protect the body from cancer all began to switch on. !!

And the benefits of the relaxation effects increased with regular practice, so the more they practiced methods such as meditation, the greater their chances of remaining free of arthritis and joint pain, and with stronger immunity, healthier hormone levels and lower blood pressure.

This research is pivotal. It clearly shows how ones state of mind affects the body on a physical and genetic level.

Look, research has long described the negative effects of stress on the body. Stress is linked to the release of the stress-hormones adrenalin and cortisol. Stress raises the heart rate and blood pressure, and weakens immunity and lowers fertility. In survival mode, our heart rate rises and our blood pressure shoots up. And non-essential functions such as immunity and digestion are deprioritized.

By contrast, the state of relaxation is linked to higher levels of serotonin and to the growth hormone that repairs cells and tissue. It lowers heart rate, boosts immunity and enabling the body to thrive. Meditative states are biologically received as a state of rest, enjoyment and physical renewal. Muscles relax and food is digested. The heart slows and blood circulation flows freely to the body's tissues, feeding it with nutrients and oxygen.

Convinced now? What you're looking for is a state of deep relaxation where tension is released from the body on a physical and emotional level, and your thinking mind completely shifts. You can do that.

“The shortest answer is doing the thing.”  Ernest Hemingway

I once had a client named Yvonne. She had a skeptical cover but I knew she was just curious under it all.  At least she wanted to be.  But first her mind needed some information. 

As a highly stressed corporate worker-bee, her nerves were always on the edge.  She had heard that meditation could be a good answer to her stress.  Yet as much as I wanted to explain how and why it could be of assistance, I knew Yvonne, and that meant I had to meet her at her nerves endings first.  That was where she lived.  So before we could ever get into the experiential act of meditating, before we could even get into a more supportive environment outdoors, Yvonne wanted me to feed her mind. 



"Give it to me straight"

She folded her body - cut it right in half - by leaning her top half over her lower sitting self.  Then she zeroed in on me.  With unblinking laser focus she said something like: “no bullshit, Jonni.  Give it to me straight up.  What the hell is meditation? In simple, real words.  None of the fluff.  What is it and can I do it?” She said this all in one sentence. Then she took a breath.

Aware that my every word - every twitch - was being evaluated and possibly discarded, I began.

“If you want to meditate, Yvonne, then you should know that nowadays people use the word “meditate” as freely as they order a double-half-caf-non-fat-soy-milk-green-tea-no-whip-uber-foam-latte. (I smiled, just a bit.  Humour, Yvonne?  Apparently no.)  Meditation has become the trendiest word outside of “yoga”.  People say they “meditated on that” or they have to “meditate on it”, when really what they are saying is they will think on it, or reflect on it, or even sleep on it.  Meditation is neither of those things.  It’s actually much greater than that.”

I needed to make this point clear and up front, yet I could feel her antsy-ness with my statement.  I’m sure she was thinking, what have I got myself into now? Just write me the prescription and let me go.  The noisy exhale that vibrated her nostril hairs, told me she was impatient.  So I took out all my John Wayne pauses and brisked through, giving her the brain bits.


The first stage of meditation

“Meditation is preceded by a slowed down conscious brain wave state.  You and I are in beta brain wave right now and with a bit of relaxation, we would be in alpha.”  (Her eyes narrowed.  She didn’t want the lingo. Right.  I attempted to create the feeling instead.)

“You know those chilled people who wouldn’t even blink if a gun shot went off behind them?  (Nod)  They’re no doubt in alpha.  Their nerves are not as edgy.”

Yvonne’s eyebrows raised a micro:  “I’m high-strung,” she volunteered.  “Wired up tight.”  (No kidding. The “edgy” word got her attention. Made it personal to her.)

“Then you know the feeling you want to have: the chilled, relaxed, even-keeled feeling.  That’s the first stage of meditation: the ability to find that shift of emotion, that sense of letting an exhale rule you, rather than an inhale.” 

I hoped that by subtly pointing out the breath it might draw her attention to her own more shallow breathing. I followed my words with actions, inhaling in short, staccato breaths while posturing like I was up for a fight, or a challenge.  Then I switched the focus to my exhales and let them silently cascade out my mouth, repeating the action with my body, from the top, down.  Ripple, ripple. She watched.  She nodded.  She got it.



Just a little bit of science

“If you have developed an emotionally matured life – if you respond emotionally to things in a more matured way  - remember all the Daniel Goldman stuff we’ve spoken about on emotional intelligence? The books I asked you to read? – then you are behaving less reactive, less edgy, and the message that your response sends to the rest of your system, is “everything is fine, stay chilled”.  It all loops together to keep you intact and calm.  The brain is literally firing up differently to respond to your different thoughts and feelings.  Scientific tests have been done to illicit what is specifically happening to the brain during meditation so we can document and measure and replicate the experience.  They’ve put well-experienced meditators into a MRI machine and watched the brain’s functions during the meditative states. The frontal lopes lit up like the Christmas tree in New York Central Square.”  (I remembered how much she liked seeing that tree the last time she was in New York.  A good reference therefore.)

I could also tell she liked the science part of the talk.  Ah, measurable, logical, practical.  I was speaking her language. Now to get to the next part - the part that’s not as easily defined.

“First they relax and then they expand, wide-opened, in that relaxation.  If they didn’t, they would just fall asleep.  We have trained ourselves to either be awake or asleep.  That lovely zone in between – teachers and parents may have called it daydreaming, playing, imagining, fantasizing – isn’t typically cultivated in our culture.  We don’t see or understand the benefits of that state and so we get angry if someone isn’t 100% awake or 100% asleep.  But artists know that zone.  Songwriters download from that zone.  Great ideas come from that inspired place.  A-ha moments are realized from that state.  These people are having an expanded state of consciousness.  Expanded.  Not just altered.  Altered could be just another perspective.  Not a bad thing, but not quite what meditation is.  You can get into an altered state of consciousness by using something external – sex, drugs and rock and roll, for example.  That can be fun, (I smiled and my eyebrows arched – hoping she was following me.  Humour on my part.  Stone face on hers.) but it’s not all there is to it.  An expanded experience means getting into that zone and then, really getting into it. The wild life, unleashed. Letting it take you on a journey.  A real experience.  And there are a trillion possible experiences that you could have.  We call those meditation experiences.”

I paused.  Finally. And shifted the focus to her.  I didn’t want to give her too much information, but enough to whet her appetite.  An hors d’oeurve or two.  Now I needed to know how it tasted.  If I gave her too much it wouldn’t ignite her curiosity.  She wouldn’t want more. I waited some more.  Then finally she said, slowly, thoughtfully:



“Can you get me there?  To those meditative experiences?”

“Yes.  I can hold your hand and take you there.  It’s what I do.  But you can get there any number of ways.  And you can set any number of intentions as to why you would want to have the experience.  It’s like sex.  Why do you want to have sex?  Because it feels good?  Because it’s about time you did?  Because it can take you to a depth of experience that can change how you think, feel and act?  (Pause for affect.  She squirms.  Good.) There are so many reasons.  Meditation is like that too.  It’s a modality. A tool.  And it’s more than that too.”

Now I sat forward – practically in her face. 

“Look.  This is the tip of the iceberg.  I can talk and talk and you can experiment and experience.  And then we can do another layer of all this.  And then another.  It just adds.  Modern Meditations are not repetitive. They’re always different. And it’s the single most important influence you can have in your life.  ‘Nuf said.  Times up.  Are you in or out?”

******

More and more people come to me to learn to meditate, and one of the first things I ask them is, “Why you want to meditate?” It helps us both if they can get clear because most of them don’t really know.  They just thought they should meditate - like eating one’s vegetables or working out – because it’s good for you.  Or they are following the trends: first yoga, now meditation.  Or they have heard a bit, read a bit and now want to sample it.  But those are rarely committed enough reasons to really get at the great highs, to really widen the circle and integrate it into their lives.  Commitment is such a big part of it.  Even children commit to playing. 

I want to meditate to feel more, to feel better, to have a better life. The more-factor is an experience.  It’s an enhancer.  All the goals and accomplishments won’t feel the way you desired them to - hoped they would - unless you increase your ability to feel more.  How’s that for a reason?

I believe that meditation has become more popular and more acceptable than ever before, yet despite more exposure in the media there still seems to be some mystery around it for many. 

When people find out that I meditate, and in fact *teach* meditation, they ask me why. I answer differently for each person of course, but basically I respond a number of ways. 

The main reason I meditate is because it gives my body, my mind, and most especially my emotions, the deepest and most profound rest in a way that sleep alone never can. The complete and total peace of mind that comes from being alone for 15 minutes or so with no noise (inside and outside) is not difficult to achieve, yet takes me to a stillpoint that is soul food to me. 

 

If a person wants to develop their spirituality to a point where they begin to feel a sense of oneness, that transcends understanding, than nothing can accomplish this aim more thoroughly than meditation. 

The myth that it takes years of training to reach this understanding is simply not true, for it is possible to feel this sense of ‘being connected’ after a few months of meditating. To feel this interconnectedness with everything sounds far-fetched but I assure you, it’s attainable. 



Intuition which plays a large, significant part in many people’s lives, vastly increases because of the practice of meditation. Intuition is still a primary way many of us make decisions. 

Meditation also gives us what has been termed as steady intellect and higher emotional management. This is where you maintain an even keel with your moods and it becomes easier to come back to a steady mental state even if something occasionally throws you off course during your day. 

My memory continues to increase and strengthen due to the sustained clear conscious focus in my meditation practice. 

And on and on….

There are thousands of ancient forms of meditation. And they are all very serious. Most of them originated from India and other Asian cultures, thousands of years ago.  They were created for, and by, men: monks, rabbis, yogis, priests and the like - the men who wanted to support their vows of chastity, celibacy, poverty, obedience….  very different reasons than why we, in this present time, would want to take up a meditation practice.

If early sources of meditation acclaim it as the connection to the God-force, then it wasn’t until the mid 1800’s that the concept moved into more philosophical realms.  People talked about it in connection with yoga and there was even a literary understanding that went with its mystical powers.  But it wasn’t really until the 1950’s and ‘60’s that meditation moved into the streets with common folk. 

Nowadays there are many different kinds of ancient and as well as contemporary forms of formal meditation. Some of them branch out into areas that understand the significant functions of the brain and how it all relates to the power of the experience. There are some that are more religious, some more ‘spiritual’,and others more clinical.  You may know them by names such as Buddhist, Vipassana, Transcendental Meditation (TM), Kundalini, Zen, Shamanism, Kabbalah, Yoga – in all its countless branches – Bio feedback, Hypnosis, Gestalt, Ericksonian, Neurolinguistic Programming, Feldenkrais, guided imagery.  The list goes on.

Different teachings involve some or all aspects of watching the breath, awakening the heart, remembering, experiencing bliss, quieting the mind, emotional healing, reducing stress - although some of these are byproducts of the practice and some of them are fundamental to the practice itself.

You’ll find much information about the scientific benefits: cerebral hemisphere cohesiveness, reversal of the physiological aging process, stress management, etc.  The TM movement has conducted the best research over the years, publishing it often, and it holds up under scientific and public scrutiny.

For the most part, I find ancient methods of meditation old, outdated, too ritualized, and sadly lacking in the practicalities of being a human on the planet in the 21st century. 

Because traditional meditation techniques were not developed for the modern world they are not designed to address your current needs and desires.  They haven’t adapted to today’s stressors and unbalancing lives of increasing complexity and accelerated change. 

How can you be expected to experience the deep stillness and connection and expanded awareness that is the hallmark of authentic meditation while fighting with your busy minds in the intensiveness of the information age? You can’t.  But you can navigate this rhythm and change to the best of your ability, by adapting formal, structured meditation practices to the current times, in the same way that you have physical training gyms and studios because you aren’t living the same physically demanding lives in these times. 

We’ve evolved.  So should your meditation practice.  And therefore modern forms of meditation are an ancient art updated for contemporary times.  They are for the evolving person.

Modern meditation does not mean minimalist meditation. Modern does not mean without soul.  It means, meditation with a clean, unfettered connection to the soul.  Modernism is an orientation toward life, a way of living in the current, rather than the past. If you want to move beyond your old stories, your perceived wounds, your perspective of lacking, then this is a new form that expresses the speed and energy of the new times.

Modern science – modern anything – questions everything and finds a new way, a new pathway.  Along the way there is always controversy: endless quarrels between those who support the ancient and those who subscribe to the modern.  I’ll state up front that I’m not opposed to anything old or ancient.  Not at all.  I love my antique pieces of furniture, my favourite period films, my nostalgic whims, my socio-historic explorations.  But when I connect to the divine, it can’t be just a thing of the past.  It needs to be here and now, existing with me, in love with me, fresh and current.  Or it’s stale.

My training and experiences (both personal and professional) have allowed me to develop what I term modern meditations, only to distinguish them from ancient and religious-based forms.  It’s natural yes, and it’s also an innovative and eclectic methodology that works specifically with your internal guidance systems – whatever you believe those systems to be.  And in working with those systems, this style of meditation activates and integrates life-changing experiences. 

Join one of my evolving programs. :)

In a nutshell, the benefits to your body are immeasurable, in that meditation reduces your blood pressure, lowers your risk of heart disease, increases your serotonin levels, decreases your muscle tension, relaxes your nervous system, enhances your brain electrical energy, increases your energy, stamina, strength and vigor, lowers your risk of heart disease, and improves your immune system, thus helping with your healing, and on and on...

The benefits to your mind are almost magical in that meditation reduces your stress, your feelings of overwhelm, anxiety, and restless thinking, while increasing your creativity, focus, concentration, learning, memory, productivity, sleeping patterns, and self-confidence.

And of course, meditation gifts your spirit - your essence - by providing you with peace of mind, increased feelings of happiness, joy, wisdom, awareness, mindfulness, abilities, compassion for yourself and others, and higher tolerance for difficult feelings in everyday life.

That's a start. :)

I soak up the outdoors, loving the fresh mountains – with snow or without – and loving the Pacific Ocean and every beach that so effortlessly leads to it. Often I roam paths through nearby trees, arching my neck up as I walk, dizzy from the energy the trees are naturally gifted with.

The spiritual energy is found everywhere. You don’t have to do anything to unleash it: just know that it exists, and slip into it. Environment is like that. And you can connect with your inner bliss more easily by choosing the most personalized surroundings so the energy can align with you as you open yourself up. Then you can accomplish that internal vibrational satisfaction that confirms you’re in your right place at your right time. 

People around you have the same potential to support you in your blissful energy, so you do yourself a great service by choosing these people well.  How you feel when you are around specific people is important.  Just being in their energy can sustain or collapse you, energetically.Can you feel that their energy can support your bliss or influence your low?  It can be subtle but it’s very real.  And it’s necessary to be aware if you want to bring out the very best in yourself.

Bliss is bliss. But that’s not the whole truth, and it certainly doesn’t support the whole you.  Altered states of being, and expanded states of being, are very different in tone, action and outcome.

Altered states of being are artificial highs and are simply perceptions of experience that are altered or different from those that you would normally have.  They can be distractions, drama, addictions, karma, substance enhancements, sleep deprivation, etc., but always in an ‘out of balance’ way: high distraction, high drama, high karma, for example.

When you take on an artificially charged high experience, you absolutely alter your natural energy – distort it, in fact. It’s blurred, extremely emotional, ungrounded, highly charged. Are you in bliss? You would think so, because you feel so different from your normal state. But this is not an authentic bliss. It’s more like going sideways instead of up and out. An altered-state bliss is like a lateral move, not a promotion, and it’s of no benefit to you, energetically, spiritually, emotionally or physically. It’s just different and that’s your choice.

The other kind of bliss - the one I’ve been talking about - is a real promotion all the way to the top. It is an expanded state of consciousness that is very awake and very aware.

It begins with you, grounded and centred, beautifully vulnerable, real and open. Your choice of people and environment are there to support your ability to trust and allow this open feeling: open-minded, open-bodied, openhearted, all of it.

As you begin to trust your chosen space, you can begin to trust the letting-go experience, for that’s what’s happening.  You are letting go of what you have been holding on to.  Your body muscles have been physically tense rather than energetically full.  Your mind has been restricted by rational thoughts of ‘can’t’, ‘don’t’, ‘shoulda, coulda, woulda’.  Your heart has been contained - kept small and protected. 

An expanded state of awareness allows you to achieve a natural bliss.  It is a feeling that is beyond simply a change in perception. An altered state of consciousness is a perception change, whereas an expanded state of awareness only begins with a shift in perception.  Then it becomes a mind-blowing, openhearted extension of being that moves you beyond the emotional hits and into the realms of full knowingness. 

Fully present. Fully alive. Higher love.

1. I'm just so busy, I can't seem to find the time.
2. I just have to get through this ____ & then I will be able to concentrate on meditating.
3. It's not like I'm so busy - I just don't seem to prioritize the time.
4. I keep falling asleep because I'm so tired.
5. I can't seem to get into a routine with it.

Do you hear yourself in there?

I hear those self-diagnosed excuses practically every day from people. And I tell them it's time to re-evalute why you WANT to meditate. Is it because you think you should? Do you really want to? Are you sufficiently inspired? How could you be, if you haven't really 'gotten the bug' yet.

Meditation is a practice - similar to exercise. Going to the gym or going for a run only once, is not going to make much of a change. But committing to a consistent program will make a difference, especially over time.

Where exercise is masculine self-care - discipline and physical - meditation is feminine self-care - a timeless time of nurturing and evolving your lower self.  Meditation is not as measured as a masculine experience, and therefore is often misunderstood.

But over time you FEEL the benefits of meditation, and others FEEL the benefits when they are with you. Your mental clarity, your emotional stability, your ability to be calmer, more present, more emotionally intelligent, more creative, more loving - these are the 'measurements' that meditation delivers on.

My husband commits himself to a "killer workout" 6 days a week. He looks forward to it every day. Even plans his day around his workout time with his buddies. And because he sees the benefits, he's continually motivated to workout again and again.

I commit to an awesome meditation practice 7 days a week. I look forward to it all day, waiting for the moment I can slip away from my "day" and enter into that seductive experience. Because I feel the benefits, I am continually inspired to 'work in' again and again.

The parallels are there - but so are the differences. To start the internal benefits, try stacking your 10-minute meditation along side something else you are currently doing every day. It can be something as routine as brushing your teeth, or going to your yoga class. Just make a point of doing your meditation practice just before, or right after, your own routine. It will add to your already existing routine until it too becomes automatic. No one ever said they never prioritized their teeth, or they were too busy for it. (Okay, I'm sure a few people have said it.)

And what if you are stacking your meditation practice with something you don't do every SINGLE day? Then on the days you don't, at least LISTEN to your meditation. Listen in the car, listen as you are getting dressed, over breakfast...you pick the 'stacking', but even if you just listen to the meditation instead of 'doing' it, it will have benefits. A walk to a run kind of comparison. For those 'other' days only, of course.